Frustrated

Its been a while. I tried switching to "vlogs" for a bit but sometimes its easier saying what you need to say via writing. Well. As my title says, im frustrated. This blog is going to be a little pity party but maybe some folks can offer me some tips (don't know if anyone even reads this!). All I can say is my primary frustration is school. Its my last semester of undergrad as an occupational therapy major and there are a number of reasons I'm frustrated. The first reason is all the group work. I realize we'll be working on teams and groups out in the field but for real...Group stuff isnt going to be this insane! I think they need to cool it on giving us so many group projects cuz its just nuts. Second, theres just an individual right now that i have to deal with who is driving me nuts. Im so stressed right now.

Time and time again I am reminded that this earthly life is passing away as we know it

Im making an effort to own up to mistakes and apologize for them. I worry though that I say sorry too much.Ive done that in the past.Where do U draw the line?

Hello

I've been so bad with updating this. Not like anyone reads it anyhow so Im not really motivated. But I went to the wake of a former priest of mine who passed at the age of 57. His name was Father Mike and he passed due to all the complications he had from diabeters, strokes, kidney failure. Sad yes, but, its good to know I have another saint up in heaven to pray for me.

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Who knew forgiveness could be so hard at times. When you think you've accomplished this feight something comes up and reminds you of the person you need to forgive--and you ask yourself, have I really forgiven this person? For me, it all goes back to a few months ago when I was involved with someone who wasnt the best for me. Right around now I cant help but be confronted with this person because theyre on t.v.! Once I asked a priest about forgiveness, and said that it is not as cut and dry and easy as it may seem- that is..Forgive the person and forget. You really can never forget what happened, you can't it is virtually impossible. And if anyone has figured out how you do so I'd like to know the secret. But I was told by this priest that forgiveness is a process..Which seems to be a conclusion that any reasonable person could draw--but remember, this blog is called "Journeys of a Prodigal"..No journies of a smart person, journies of a saint/angel/mystic (and even in saints cases, the prodigal is often true before their latter lives as saints). I guess the thing is that you can say "I've forgiven this person," as, Im not going to hold any ill thoughts towards them, seek revenge, or hold on to bitterness and anger. Of course it may still hurt to think of this person or be reminded of this person, but thats an internal struggle which must be brought to God.

No matter how much I pray...How hard I try..I feel like I just cant live up to God's expectations for me.Or maybe theyre my own expectations?

Goodnesss

Goodness its been what...Nearly 2 months since I last updated this blog? Well gee lets see whats happened since then..Well, no one has died-which is a good thing. No ones been born-thank god cuz that would be unexpected..Hearts havent been broken, so, I'd say these past 2 months have been great. Although there is one really traumatic event that hits people once a year..And its happening to me a week from today..A week from today I'll be 23, and I cant seem to stop thinking about it. Birthdays are always rough for me, as are any holidays. They are that way just because they're days when things feel a bit out of the ordinary. For some reason, I don't really like that feeling. They're also a bit shakey for the same reason New Years is for me-its a time to reflect. OK most folks probably don't look that much into their birthdays and derive that much meaning or analysis from it-but I do. I often reflect on where I was planning to be at this age and in reality where I am. When I was about 13 I always imagined that I would be married and have a full time job by now-Im farrrr from that. Am I upset because I didnt fulfill my dream from when I was 13? Do I feel like a failure? Not at all. I think I've allwoed God to work in me-most of the time-and lead me to where I am today. For some folks "the rest of your life" seems so clear cut-either you get married or enter the religious life-but for some like me, its a bit more rocky. Its all good though---Good, character building rocky ground =)